So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I need a beard to bite.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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