So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
