Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
