Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
