who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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