I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize