your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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