i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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