Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
