i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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