We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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