Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
