You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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