Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
