Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
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