Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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