what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize