I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
