I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
