i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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