"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
