On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
