I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize