I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
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You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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