That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
