So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
