found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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