Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize