It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
