i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
