somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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