I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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