Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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