I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize