I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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