I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The Olympian is in my bed
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