I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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