Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
