I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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