I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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