I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
