i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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