Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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