His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
