I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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