well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
where are my eyebrows?
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