You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I AM VODKA MAN
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
