Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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