My brain says no but my pants say off.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
