She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
