Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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