I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need to sanitize my soul.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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