I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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