so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
