this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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