Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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